


Aftermath

by aurora1d



Category: Harry Styles - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M, Harry Styles - Freeform, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 16:15:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14957913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurora1d/pseuds/aurora1d
Summary: You didn't want this to be real. There was no way it happened to you. It should have never happened to you.





	Aftermath

Chapter One

MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING

It started in your apartment. Quarter to three in the afternoon as you got home from your early class at the university. You were walking down the corridor, only a couple steps away from your door. Your key was in your hand, your arm was reaching out. So. Fucking. Close. If you had been one minute earlier, maybe you would have made it. You could ask as many ‘what if’ questions as you wanted, but there was no way to turn back time and make it not happen. It wasn’t over after he pulled out and walked away though. It was long from over.

“(Y/N),” one of the special victim’s unit officers said softly, coming over to sit next to you on the couch in your apartment. “I’m detective Roland, can you try and tell me what happened?”

When did you call the police? Did you call the police? Or did a neighbor?

“Uhm… I just… I was just getting home from uni…” Your eyebrows kitted together. It all seemed like such a blur all of a sudden. “And I was just getting to my apartment and… and they grabbed me…”

“Okay,” the detective nodded. “Did you see anything? The colour of their skin, facial hair… do you remember any smells?”

“I don’t know…. I think they were white,” you shook your head, narrowing your eyes as you tried to think. “I don’t know I wasn’t facing him…”

“Did they say anything to you?” she asked. “Anything to identify them as a man or woman?”

“It was a guy… definitely a guy,” you breathed out. “He said… ‘is this how you like it?’… and I can’t remember anything else.” Your voice cracked and you wrapped your arms around yourself. A protective move. You didn’t know anything in your home. You didn’t know their motives. To say your trust was shattered was an understatement. You had seen so many instances where nothing could be done, and the person who had been attacked was left to live a life of paranoia. You just sat there wishing that no one had been called.

What would the people in your life think about this? Your parents, your boyfriend, your friends? How would they be able to look at you the same way after knowing what had happened?

“We want to get your down to the hospital and have a rape kit done okay?” the detective said calmly after she had finished writing everything down. “They’re going to do a search of your apartment, see if they can find any DNA. It happened in the hallway, but he could have left something on you… Do you still have the clothes you were in when it happened?”

You were wearing them. “I’m wearing them.”

“That means you didn’t have a shower afterwards?”

“No…” 

“Good… I’m going to come with you to the hospital, alright? Is there anyone we can call to meet us there?”

“Yeah… Harry… my boyfriend,” you murmured, fishing your phone out of your pocket. 

“Give me his number, I’ll call him on the way. We have a car ready to take us. It’ll just be you and me and another police officer.

You looked at her, making sure his contact was opened before handing your phone over, letting her take control.

***

The curtain was pulled back when the examiner came in, the table of instruments ready for the rape kit. The only thing saving your pride was the paper-thin hospital gown, your clothes off somewhere to be examined.

There was bruising on your neck from where the perpetrator had grabbed to keep you from screaming, but you were lucky that those were really the only external injuries.

“Alright love,” the nurse smiled slightly. “I have a couple of swabs alright? I’m going to swab your mouth, vaginal area, the insides and backs of your thighs, anywhere that he could have left any DNA in regards to ejaculation, pubic hair or skin oils alright? We’re also going to comb through your pubic hair and try to find anything we can to identify your attacker,” she explained, grabbing the first que tip. You sat with your feet hanging over the side of the exam table, nodding along.

“Can I have some water?” you asked quietly.

“Once I swab. We don’t want anything being washed away.”

“He didn’t… put it in my mouth though… just his fingers at one point, I don’t…”

“There could be something left love. Skin cells, and things like that. Can you open for me?”

You opened your mouth and closed your eyes. You wanted it to all be over. Harry had been asked to bring some clean clothes for you when he got there, whenever that would be. You were really hoping it would be soon. You wanted to leave.

You zoned out when the nurse had to swab and comb between your legs. It felt like she was down there for hours as you just stared at the ceiling. Pictures of the bruising on your neck were taken, and once that was done, so was the exam. They had gotten everything they could for samples so you sat up when everyone had left your small, curtained off space, pulling the thin blanket over your legs. You were so tired.

You could hear chatter on the other side of the curtain that blocked you from the rest of the patients. One voice was unrecognizable, the other was obviously Harry. Finally. When the curtain was pulled back, Harry was the first one through. He looked panicked, worried, upset… relieved. You couldn’t really place it. Your mind was too frazzled and caught up in your own situation, you didn’t have the energy to worry about him.

“I’m so sorry I took so long… I couldn’t go into your apartment so I had to grab something from mine.”

“They had to search my apartment…” you started quietly, your throat feeling grateful for the water you were finally allowed to have. “Don’t know why… it happened in the hallway…”

“How did no one hear?” he asked, coming to sit by your legs. He pulled a clean pair of panties, a pair of sweats and a t-shirt from his bag. Comfortable and loose clothes.

Shrugging your shoulders, you reached forward to take the clothes from him. You didn’t trust yourself to talk and you couldn’t bring yourself to look him in the eye.

“(Y/N)?” the nurse popped her head in. “The detective needs to take a statement from you, are you ready?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. It hadn’t really sunken in yet, what had happened.

“Remember me?” Detective Roland gave you a soft smile as she stepped in, nodding at Harry in greeting.

“Yeah.”

“I just need you to tell me what happened again okay? And then I’ll need to have a talk with your boyfriend.”

“About what?” you furrowed your eyebrows together slightly, shaking your head and finally looking up at him. “He didn’t do it.”

“We just need to rule him out.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Harry reassured, grabbing onto your hand gently and massaging him thumb over your knuckles. “Let’s just get this over with okay? And then I can take you back to my place if you’d like? Unless you want to go to yours…”

“I want to go to yours…” you spoke, clearing your throat and grabbing your water with your free hand. Turning to look at the detective again, you had to take a deep breath and grip onto Harry’s hand. “I was just walking down the hallway, getting home from my afternoon classes…”

 

Chapter Two

MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING

Harry was cleared. There was a bit of questioning that went into it, but he was cleared nonetheless.

“These are to prevent any chance of pregnancy,” the nurse spoke softly, holding out a little cup with two pills rolling around on the bottom. “It’s your choice on whether you take it or not, but I want you to know the option is there.”

You had changed into the clothes that Harry had brought over for you. Looking at the little cup, you made the decision right then and there to take them. It wasn’t a hard choice. Unscrewing the lid from your water bottle, it was done, and there were no more questions.

Harry’s hand rested on your shoulder, nothing too heavy to make you feel weighed down, more a supportive grasp. Just to let you know he was there.

“Can she go now?” he asked, breaking the silence.

“Yes, everything’s been taken care of, the detectives will be in contact with you when something comes up.”

You nodded quietly, picking your bag up off of the floor. Harry took it from your grasp and took it instead. He kept the hand that was on your side free, a small, subtle gesture of openness and support.

“Alright,” Harry nodded, looking over at you. “Ready love?”

“Yeah,” you nodded once more. It was all you seemed to be able to get out as a response.

Harry took the first step, keeping his eyes on you. You followed his lead and stepped closer to him, resting one of your hands on his arm. You weren’t prepared to step out of the safety of the hospital, especially on your arm. It wasn’t until you reached his car that something strong seemed to hit you right in the face. The idea that whoever had done this was still out, wandering around. He knew your apartment building, he knew your specific apartment. He didn’t know Harry’s, or at least you didn’t thing he did. But what if he did? What if he had been following you? You hadn’t realized how tight your grip on Harry’s bicep had gotten, white knuckling the material of his shirt.

“(Y/N),” his voice broke you from your trance, making you flinch just in the slightest. Your eyes met his wide ones, and he looked worried.

“I’m okay… I…” you shook it off, squeezing your eyes shut for a moment. The passenger door was open, allowing you to let go of his arm and slip in. You felt like you were analyzing everyone who appeared in your sight, seeing if there were any recognizable features. You were so far from okay.

“It’s okay…” he murmured, shutting your door and coming around to the driver’s side. He had put your bag in the back seat, but you had zoned out and hadn’t realized until you glanced back and saw it on the seat. Your hands rubbed firmly against the tops of your thighs as your eyes continued to scan. You jumped at the loud volume of the radio, Harry quickly reaching to turning it down nearly all the way. “Sorry…”

It was quiet for a while as you two sat together in the car, driving towards his house. You didn’t want this to keep going. 

“Love… I don’t really have anything I can see to make you feel better… but I just want you to know that I’m here, yeah?”

Looking over at him, you nodded slowly. You didn’t trust your voice.

***

There was a lingering dread in the back of Harry’s mind, but not about the event. It was about you. He wanted nothing more than to be able to take you away from this and try to make it all go away. He wanted to fix this. There were a million thoughts going through his head as he waited for you to have a shower. He wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to hug and kiss you like he always had. He didn’t know how to approach a situation like this. An open dialogue between you two was so desperately needed, a conversation. Things felt strange and distant. All because one sick freak made the terrible decision to go out and intrude on you in such a vile way.

He heard the water turn off, and looked up. He didn’t expect you to come out in just your towel like you always did, and he was right. You came out a few minutes later, covered in baggy clothes that hid as much as you needed them to.

 

Chapter Three

MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING

Things were quiet. You didn’t say anything because you were already fighting enough with yourself, you didn’t want or need to throw Harry into the mix. None of this was his fault, but there was an anger bubbling in your stomach. Denial hadn’t even come into play. As much as you wanted to wish it never happened, it was too raw.

“You’re welcome to go and lie down if you need…” Harry said quietly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I don’t need anything,” you snapped.

“Okay…” Harry frowned.

“I want water,” you grumbled, dragging the back of your hand over your mouth and going into his kitchen.

“There’s some bottles in the fridge.” 

He was keeping his distance, pivoting in his spot and stepping just into the doorway. This was not something that he could comprehend. He wished he could help and say that he understood how you were feeling but he couldn’t. He couldn’t imagine how this would affect you. He wasn’t even really sure if it had clicked in your head yet. You had been relatively quiet about things, calm even. Now, he could feel the anger and he didn’t want to provoke. So now it was his turn to stay quiet. 

You unscrewed the cap of the water bottle, taking gulps of water down and closing your eyes, ignoring you boyfriend who watched on with concerned.

There were so many thoughts, so many emotions screaming at you and it was blurring your mind and blocking anything that could help you think straight. It was messy. You felt so… dirty, so ashamed. Another part of you felt like none of this could actually be real. You wanted to disassociate until these horrific memories stopped flashing through your head. All you wanted was to feel okay. You were just angry. At the person who did this, at yourself, at Harry, at the cops, any anyone who tried to imagine how you felt, because they had no idea. They could say it all they wanted, but until they went through it themselves, until they were taken advantage of, until they were raped… they couldn’t say shit.

 

Chapter Four

You couldn’t bring yourself to fall asleep. Harry was knocked out beside you, but no matter how heavy your eyes were, there was too much anxiety making your stomach twist to make it comfortable to even attempt to sleep. You rolled over, facing your sleeping boyfriend and debated on waking him up. He was right there, but unless he was awake, you felt lonely. 

Reaching out, you shook his shoulder gently, feeling your eyes grow wet with tears. He only shifted slightly so you shook him a little bit harder, finally feeling him move around. 

“Babe?” he croaked, lifting his hands up to rub over his eyes.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” you said. It wasn’t just for waking him up. It was for what happened, for how you treated him after, for how cold you had been. You were sorry for how you were letting this affect the relationship between the person who had always been there, big or small.

“Sweetheart,” Harry frowned, sitting up and reaching to turn the small light on. 

You sat up slowly and wiped under your eyes, your arms tightly pressed together in front of your chest, a shield. 

He carefully reached out and wrapped his arms around your closed up frame, not making any moves that you didn’t agree on. You dropped your forehead down against his shoulders and cried out, letting him hold you together for you. You struggled to stop the tears, the fear overtaking the anger you had been feeling earlier. 

“Let it out,” he murmured, his hand rubbing firm circles on your back, creating a comforting warmth that made you feel safer to let things go, to be vulnerable.

Your cries turned to sobs, and you let your arms loosen a bit, giving you the opportunity to use him as a shield from the rest of the world instead. His arms remained enveloped around you, his cheek pressed against the side of your head. You were ready for a long, sleepless night.

 

Chapter Five

You tried to appear like a functioning human being, but the lack of sleep that had been replaced by relentless tears put you in more of a zombie-like state. Harry hadn’t left your side since yesterday. He was on high-alert and was there whenever you needed absolutely anything. You could hear him in the shower, singing a mindless melody that put the ghost of a smile on your face. 

As you sat hunched over in bed, your stomach growled and broke you from your thoughts. An appetite was a good sign in your mind. Slowly, you got out of bed and headed down the stairs, trudging into the kitchen. You didn’t want to test your stomach too much, the lack of food you had had over the last 24 hours being minimal. Some toast would get you started, just a little bit of butter and strawberry jam. 

Harry came down with a pair of sweats hanging from his hips, his wet hair sticking to his forehead. 

“Wondered where ya went…” he murmured, slowing his steps when he saw you in the kitchen.

“Just getting some food,” you commented, turning to face him a bit. 

“What’re ya havin’?” he asked, leaning his shoulder against the wooden doorframe.

“Toast.”

“Good choice,” he grinned.

You jumped visibly when the toaster finished, Harry’s grin disappearing. Swallowing thickly, you turned back and carefully pulled the crisp toast from the chambers, dropping them on a plate before adding your desired spreads.

“Your phone went off when I was getting changed darling... it was the detective.”

You froze for a brief second, the butter knife still in your hand as you spread the jam over. “And?”

“There was a match to the DNA… someone in the system…” he mentioned quietly. “They need you to go down there when they get the guy… see if you can make an I.D.”

“I don’t want to see him again…” you said quietly.

“It’s the only way…”

“If he’s in the system, surely there’s another person, no? They can come forward and do it.”

“They’re trying to reach out to any other of his victim’s babe, but they have to find them first. He was in the system for a different crime I guess. There’s no one else who’s come forward…”

You let out a sigh, setting the knife down and dropping your head. The last thing you wanted to do was face him and go through the whole event again. It was hard enough, so much had already happened in the last 24 hours, and it just kept coming. You were already exhausted, how were you expected to take time to cope, and rest, and deal with what had happened. You had no time.

“(Y/N)…”

“I don’t want this…”

 

Chapter Six

It was nerve wracking. Your hands shook as you sat at the detective’s desk, Harry fidgeting beside you. He was trying his best to be supportive, but he could only do so much without exhausting himself. 

You were lead back into a private room, a large black window giving an ominous feel. Detective Roland stood next to you, and recommended Harry step back to let you have the space and the time you would need to really make sure you had the right guy. 

“Alright (Y/N)… when you’re ready, I’m going to pull up the blinds, and the suspects are going to walk in, and line up. We’re going to have them say a phrase, and you stop me whenever you need. Take your time alright?” she explained softly, but it sounded like an echo. You were ready.

You gave a slight nod, and the blinds came up. The detective pressed a small button on the wall and leaned over to speak into the speaker. “Alright gentleman, please step in.”

Gentleman. Ironic.

Your felt your throat tighten as the men walked in one by one, standing in the police line up in the same outfit you had described earlier. Your mind began to spin around, and you needed to take a minute to close your eyes and try to control yourself.

“Will number one step forward and say the words on the paper.”

The first man stepped forward. “Is this how you like it?” Not familiar.

“Number two?”

“Is this how you like it?”

Harry had his arms crossed over his chest tightly, watching you through tunnel vision. You silhouette appeared to shrink as you stood and watched these men, having to listen to the sick words that had been whispered into your ear the day you were raped. Harry felt a bubbling anger in his gut, the mere idea of his girlfriend being the victim of such a heinous crime twisting his heart. The unrealistic idea that he could take the pain from you and suffer it himself kept crossing his mind, but not all things were possible. 

“Is this how you like it?” Number six, the last and final suspect spoke.

Standing glued to your spot, you observed those men in there, thinking and examining. Every memory was flashing through your mind, and you wanted so badly for him to be in that room.

“Number 3…” you whispered out, but you were sure. “It’ number 3…”

“Are you one hundred percent certain,” the detective asked, and you sucked in a sharp breath as you nodded. 

“I am… I… that…” you sputtered out, feeling Harry’s hand slip into yours. Your hand gripped onto his like a vice. 

“It’s okay…” he reassured, moving to stand beside you, a hopeful and proud smile on his face.

“You did great (Y/N)…”

“Did I get in right?” you swallowed thickly, looking at her and praying that you had chosen correctly. “Did I pick the right guy?”

The detective looked at you for a moment. “You did amazing.”

You had never felt such a weight lifted off of your chest. There had been something about the way he spoke, the venom and the sadistic pleasure, that no one else could mimic other than the person themselves. You didn’t know who he was, but a part of you would remember him like you had known him for years. The mental scars he left with you, would always linger. But there was still a chance for closure. 

The end was closing in.

 

Chapter Seven

Harry was confused and angry. He held onto the steering wheel and sat at the red light, the take out sitting in the passenger seat with the seat warmer on, so when it got back to you, it wouldn’t be cold.

His fingers tapped anxiously on the hard plastic, his foot pressing on the gas slowly as the light switched to the bright green. He had seen the man who had hurt you, standing with nothing but a piece of glass between the two of them. He stood 10 feet away, and all Harry wanted to do was jump through the glass and hurt that scum like he had hurt you.  
The young man had to snap out of it when his car started to veer into the other lane and the loud blast of a car horn pulled him from his thoughts. He quickly swerved back and cleared his throat, giving his head a little shake to keep him locked into reality until he wasn’t on the road. His eyes stared straight ahead, and the angry thoughts kept peering into his mind. It was awful.

There was no way Harry would bring this up with you. He knew too well that your mind was already a cluster fuck of worry, guilt and fear. His job right now, was to make sure you always felt secure, and safe, and comfortable, and happy. The fact that he was out of the house and leaving you alone for a period of time, albeit short, still made him uncomfortable.

“The man is in jail Harry…” he murmured to himself.

The two of you had gone to the bail hearing, and the person who had done this had been remanded until the court date. There was no way he could get out. No way. But Harry still worried, and would continue to worry until there was a sentence.

 

Chapter Eight

There was two weeks to go until your court date, but the anxiety started now. There was an ache in your chest that made even the most simple of task the most difficult. Your mind was a mess, and all you could focus on was what could go wrong. How this could go completely off track and he could get out, only to find you and attack you with revenge clouding everything.

You went through every worst case scenario. Every single one. Over and over.

“Sweetheart…” Harry’s gentle touch on your arm grabbed your attention. “You need to eat something…”

The paper bags with takeout sat unopened in front of you. “I can’t eat right now…”

Harry let out a deep sigh and dropped his hand from your arm. “It’s still two weeks away… we need to try not to think about it…”

“Can’t do that…” you shook your head. “Can’t do that, nope.”

“You can…” he urged, not wanting to push any boundaries.

“Nope.” Your voice was firm. You wanted him to stop. Stop bringing any aspect of the fucked situation up.

Harry pursed his lips together and looked at his food, picking up one of his fries and just chewing on the end of it. He wouldn’t push it. Maybe that wasn’t the healthy thing to do though. Maybe he needed to push you, and not enable this destructive behaviour. Letting you worry was not going to help anything at all.

“(Y/N), we need to talk about this.” His voice was a lot firmer now. “Seriously, I get that you don’t want to, because it’s all so horrible, but we can’t just pretend like it’s not happening, or that it didn’t happen, okay? This isn’t going to solve anything, and if you want to get through this, I think that maybe you should go talk to a psychiatrist or anything like that. I’ll pay for it, whatever you need from me, but we can’t keep acting like it’s not happening. You’re not eating, you’re barely sleeping, and fuck, I am not watching this without doing everything that I can to see you get better?”

The both of you stared at each other with wide eyes, your jaw tense. Your big, tired, dry eyes blinked back some tears as you tried to put some slack back in your jaw. You pushed the bags of food away and went to stand up.

“Sit down.” Harry said firmly. “I am not letting you run away from this.”

“Leave me alone…” you muttered bitterly, pulling your sleeves over your arms nervously as a shield.

“No.”

You swallowed thickly, hunched over and backing away from him slowly. “Don’t talk to me like that.”

“Well what do you want me to do (Y/N)?? Stand back and watch you self-destruct? Watch your mind eat away at every sense until you’re nothing but a shell?”

“Already am…”

“You are not…” he shook his head. “He has not broken you, you are still strong, you have strength in you that I know is scaring you, but it’s there.”

You stood with your back against the wall, your eyes staring at the ground.

“Please… please!” The firmness, the anger, had turned into desperation. Pure desperation. “We have two weeks… please… I’ll do anything that I can, but I’m obviously not doing enough… so we need more help… For fuck’s sake babe…. Please.”

 

Chapter Nine

One more week to go. Until the day that ate away at your mind would come, and then, only then could you only hope that it would be all over. All you could really bring yourself to do was eat, shower and sleep. All Harry could really bring himself to do was watch.

He was trying to be there for you, as much as he possibly could, but it was hard when you barely spoke a word to him. He had reached out to your doctor, practically pleading for any help she could give in finding a therapist for you. Harry knew that going behind your back and doing that had the possibility of being lashed out against, but he was at a hopeless end.

He had the number, all he needed to do was call.

“Hello uhm.. my name is Harry, and I was wondering if I would be able to make an appointment for someone else..? ….. it’s my girlfriend yeah…. She uhm, just went through something and she’s been…. Yeah exactly…. Tuesday? Yeah, yeah definitely… one o’clock? Yeah we can come early to fill in the paperwork and stuff… yeah… okay… thank you so much…”

He hung up the phone. All it took was five minutes and he had it set up for you. His eyes shifted towards the stairs. He had to tell you what was going on. Not ask.  
As he got up, he worked on wording in his head, knowing that he had to be firm, but not cruel, in telling you that you would be going to a psychiatric appointment in two days. He peered into the bedroom, the door just slightly opened so he could check in whenever he walked by.

It was 11:30 in the morning, so you were still asleep. He stepped in quietly, and came over to your side of the bed. Before reaching out to wake you, he took a moment, observing you in the only peaceful state you had at the moment.

Quietly, he put his hand on your arm and shook you gently, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip. The last thing he wanted was for you to get upset and angry again. Frankly, he didn’t think you had the energy for that anymore.

You shifted and his eyes locked back onto you. One of your hands came up and rested over his that was now still on your shoulder. Harry turned his hand so he could hold yours, giving you a reassuring squeeze.

“Remember we had talked about going to a therapist darling?” he asked ever so softly, sitting himself on the bed next to you. He didn’t get an immediate response.  
“Yeah…” you finally said, keeping your eyes closed.

“I made you an appointment… for Tuesday.”

Again, you didn’t respond for a good while, and Harry got nervous that he had made a mistake. But when you nodded your head slightly and tightened your grip around his hand, he relaxed.

“Okay…” you spoke softly. “You’ll be with me?”

Harry smiled slightly, brushing his thumb over your knuckles. “Every step…”

 

Chapter Ten

“I’m right here,” he murmured, holding onto your hand tightly as the two of you walked towards the office of the therapist.  
You nodded your head slightly, side glancing at him and clearing your throat. Your mouth felt so dry, and your stomach was twisting in knots. You were worried about how this all would go, and what the therapist was going to make you do.

Staying quiet, you held onto Harry’s arm as he checked you in for your appointment. You were scared.

“(Y/N)?” your name was called about ten minutes later, an older woman being the source.

You looked up and felt your stomach and grip tighten. All you wanted to do was stand up and leave. Make it all go away. All of it. But you stood up, as did Harry, and you both started heading towards her.

“I’d like to talk to you alone first darling,” she said softly.

“I want him there,” you stated firmly.

She gave you a small smile. “How about we just get to know each other first, and then he can come in okay?”

You kept your eyes on her, but Harry made the first move, detaching himself from you. “It’ll be okay… I’ll be right here…”

“Harry…” you spoke hesitantly.

“Just a couple minutes,” she said.

You swallowed thickly and glanced at her for a moment before starting to walk towards her, looking back at Harry. Why was she making you go alone? Why couldn’t he have come with you? What was she going to do?

As she led you to her office, you kept your eyes straight. She walked in first, allowing you to take your time getting in. It was a nicer office. She had a couple plants, and there was a big window on the opposite side. The chair there for you looked fairly comfortable, and a full box of Kleenex sat on the table adjacent.

“Whenever you’re ready…”

You felt like you wanted to be sick, but regardless, you went and sat in the chair, keeping your gaze away from her.

“Can you tell me your name?”

“You already know it…”

“Okay… what do you do? Do you go to school?”

“Mhm…”

“What do you study?”

“Business…”

“And are you liking it?”

“Yeah, it’s okay…”

“What do you want to do when you’re done with school?”

“Dunno.”

“Do you work?”

“Yup.”

“Where do you work?”

You shrugged.

“Alright (Y/N)…” she jotted some things down. “Have you ever had issues with mental health before?”

“No.”

“Have you ever been to a therapist before?”

“No.”

“Alright… so you have nothing diagnosed that I should know about? No medications?”

“Nope.”

She sighed quietly, keeping her eyes on you. “Okay… how about we get Harry in here now?”

“Yes please.”

She stood up and opened the door to head out and grab your boyfriend, who was waiting anxiously in the waiting room. When he was brought back to you, he took a seat next to you and held his hand out, letting you latch on right away.

“You got to know each other pretty quick,” he said lightly, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

“We did,” she nodded slightly.

You stayed quiet. You weren’t in the mood for this anymore. Silence was your coping mechanism.

 

Chapter Eleven (Finale)

You were on the road to recovery. Something that had felt so out of reach, was finally at your fingertips. Days seemed to get better, easier. But you still lived with the pain of what happened, and you were working on accepting the fact that you could never change it, no matter how much you wanted to.

The court date came. And went. Testifying in front of a crowd was one of the hardest things you had ever done. Reliving the whole situation. You felt extremely humiliated when the defense lawyer came at you, tried to pick apart your story and make you the guilty one. In the back of the mind, you knew he was just doing his job, but the way he turned your story, tried to poke holes, and cut your sentences off, you wanted to scream. Even from the gallery, Harry winced at his harsh words and hurt for you. The way your tears rolled down your cheeks as you fought so hard to keep your composure and made sure you didn’t give in. You could not let this evil bastard go free.

The days leading up to the verdict, while only two, were long, and exhausting. All you could think about was how there was a possibility of your attacker walking free. Just the way he stared at you in the courtroom made your blood run cold, and you dared not look at him. But you could feel his eyes burning into your head the day the jury came back with their verdict. Harry stood beside you, keeping his close distance while your lawyer stood on the other side. The bailiff took the small piece of paper from the head juror, brought it to the judge and then returned it. You closed your eyes when the judge asked if the jury had come to an agreement, the head juror responded with a “Yes we have your honor.”

Harry’s hand slipped into yours and squeezed, giving you strength. Your heart was racing. It beat so hard you almost missed the jury’s verdict.

Guilty. 

Harry audibly gasped in relief beside you, and you nearly collapsed in his arms. Everything else, well that was history.

Now, as you laid in bed with Harry, there was something different in the air. Things felt lighter. Therapy had been a help, but it was going to be a long road ahead. There would still be a lot of emotions, and a lot of times where you would just want to give up. You were beyond grateful for the patience of the man who laid beside you, running his hand up and down your back with his eyes closed. You had learned to be comfortable with him quite quick. You wanted nothing more than to return the favor. He knew you would one day. 

“H…” you whispered. You didn’t think he was asleep, but you wanted to make sure. 

“Hmm?”

“You’re up?”

“Mhm…” he nodded slightly, opening his eyes and turning his head towards you. “Everything okay?” 

“Yeah…” you turned yourself towards him a bit. “Just thinking…”

“About the trial?” he asked softly.

“No… about you… I… you’ve been so good to me… so patient…” you started. “I really hope you know how much you mean to me… everything you’ve done I just… I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay you…”

Harry looked at you for a moment, his lips downturned slightly. 

“Why are you frowning?” you jut out your bottom lip.

“You’re thanking me for patient… wouldn’t have been any other way darlin’… Know you would’ve done the same for me…”

“Always…” you nodded slightly.

His hand came up to cup your cheek gently, and he moved in just slightly, waiting for your permission. When you gave him a small nod, he moved in closer and closed the space between you two, his lips against yours gently. It was nothing insane or heavy, but gentle and reassuring. Your heart warmed at his soft gesture, it almost made you want to cry. 

“I feel so guilty…” you breathed out against his lips, causing him to pull back.

“For what…”

“For… for not being… he took something I wanted to save for you…” Your voice was so small.

“No.” Harry suddenly spoke with a firmness that seemed to come out of nowhere.

“Harry…”

“No… no, no, no,” he repeated, pressing his lips back against yours. “Never…”

You grabbed onto his wrist and pulled your head back, shaking your head. 

“I…”

“Please, don’t say it…”

Pursing your lips together, you two laid together and said nothing. 

“You are still… you… what happened doesn’t make you any less of the person you were before… it changes nothing between us at all. You are still beautiful, and smart, and lovely in every way shape or form… and we will get through this, and you will be… you will be okay one day…”

“I know…” you said softly, gently rubbing the pad of your thumb over the prominent bone on his wrist. “Just, thank you…”

He gave you a small smile, gently bumping his forehead against yours. 

“You make me feel so safe.” It came out of you in nothing more than a whisper.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all so much for reading. I really hoped you enjoyed this realism piece. I'm working on a couple other pieces dealing with serious topics!


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